27 May 2010

Not Out of the Woods Yet

It might seem like I have a bit of a one-track mind lately - and you know what? I do. Normally, I don't like to know what's going on in the world. I'm kind of known for how rarely I pick up a newspaper, for my total refusal to watch the news on TV. That's because everything that is deemed newsworthy by the media is awful and not something I want to spend my time thinking about. If this makes me intentionally ignorant, then I guess I'll have to own to that and move on, because nothing, not even this mess in the Gulf of Mexico, is likely to change my mind about the rock I live under.

I first heard about the oil leak a few weeks ago, when it had been going on for a while. My brother and our friend Clayton were talking about it as we headed down to the river, and to be honest, I thought they were exaggerating. The more I heard about it, the more I realised that they weren't, that the situation was every bit as bad as they said it was. Right before the whole thing with the beach and the dead fish, I did some research and was totally horrified by the crap BP was dishing out. I was also more than a little freaked about the debates going on online - and the fact that most of them seem to surround the question of whether BP will end the year in the red or in the black. The more I read, the more I became convinced that we're screwed. By we, I mean the whole planet. I don't think that any giant boats in China are likely to save us this time, with Chiwetel Ejiofor's help or not.

What's weird is that even though I really believed this was the end (and I don't think we're anywhere close to out of the woods yet), I couldn't bring myself to do anything. I haven't been writing, because all I could think about is that there wasn't any point, that I might not even live to see another book published. I've spent the past couple of weeks on autopilot, not wanting to put any effort into anything. That makes no sense, though, because I should have been running around, working my ass off to complete everything on the semi-formed bucket list I've had in my head for my whole life, instead of just going numb and crazy, not wanting to work toward anything and at the same time, making plans for a future I didn't believe in.

I found out about half an hour ago that the top kill thing (basically pouring mud into the oil well) has kind of worked, ish, that they've significantly slowed the amount of oil flowing into the ocean. Now, I have no idea if this is true or if it's just another big load of shit from BP, but when I read that news, I literally burst into tears.

Now I just feel inspired to do stuff. All stuff. I want to work out, get a good body so I can get a tattoo or 80. I've always wanted one, and the only thing holding me back has been my fear, not of the pain so much as that my future self won't like it. Well screw it... my present self is more important; my future self might not even exist. I want to get a job and be able to afford to live the way I want, I want to reconnect with old friends, and get rid of the unhealthy influences in my life. I want to climb Burges and go on multiple-day hikes. I want to find true love, which means I want to believe in true love. Right now, I want to do everything.

23 May 2010

Time to Throw Virgins in the Ocean?

I was really, really excited to go to the beach today. I'd only been swimming once this year, on a day when it was really too cold to be swimming, so I was looking forward to spending some time in the water, if for no other reason than to spend some time not thinking about the problems we're having in other bodies of water around the world *cough*gulf*cough*. We drove to Turkey Point, stopping at a nice little cafe for cheeseburgers along the way (I shouldn't eat cheese, I know, but I love it too much) and arrived happy, if a little confused by the relative lack of activity on the beach. We parked the car and by the time we reached the actual sand, the calm of the beach was starting to make sense; it smelled absolutely foul. At first, we thought it was just where we were, gasses from a nearby stormdrain or something, so we moved. We moved twice before we decided that no, it really was the water. No matter, we thought, we would just sit on the beach and enjoy ourselves and try to ignore the overpowering stench blowing in off the water.

There were these neat little birds by the water, all black with white eyes, and I decided that I was going to sneak up on one and get a picture, so off I went. The smell from the water was awful, but I figured I would brave it. The bird flew away before I could even get it in focus, but the closer I got to the water, the more I realized that the little bits of drifwood and garbage floating on the waves were neither driftwood nor garbage. They were fish. A lot of fish.

Combine that with the thick, purplish haze hanging in the otherwise clear blue sky and you have what I consider to be a fairly horrifying situation. Add the fact that thousands of barrels worth of oil are spewing into the gulf of Mexico per day, that given their history, the situation on any given day is likely to be 1,000 times worse than BP is willing to admit, and I'm pretty sure we have the first sign of Armageddon. Lucky us.

What's really awful is that I've had a horrible feeling about this whole oil leak business for days, horrible, as in: time to pack up and head for the mountains - and I've been telling myself that I'm being paranoid or overreacting or something. Then I get to the beach and see this. We really are all going to die.

I May Be Sick

My family has been talking a lot about the oil leak the past couple of days. It's almost funny to think that the world really could end in 2012. If they don't do something to stop this, we'll all suffocate.

They is kind of ambiguous term. They are the people who have some sort of grasp of science, some idea of how you would even try to stop something like this... and for some reason, the they that are in charge of - if we're being realistic - the fate of the world are the same dumb bastards who caused this in the first place.

BP. I don't care how much overtime they were offering, what incentives they were giving, if I worked for them, I'd have jumped ship as soon as I found out about this. As if it's not bad enough that they've pretty well doomed the planet, BP's spokespeople seem content to lie repeatedly about the scope of the damages they have caused and the liklihood that they'll be able to fix them.

BP's publicised* estimates are that the leak is pumping five thousand barrels of oil into the water per day. Every non-BP estimate ranges from twenty to over approximately one hundred thousand barrels of oil leaking per day. BP has managed to recover a huge amount of oil. 5,000 barrels a day, as a matter of fact. So how is it that the oil is still leaking? Hmm, let us ponder. Could it be because their 5,000 barrel per day leak estimate is a big load of horse shit? Yes, I think it could be because of that.

Oh, another fun fact. BP won't let any independent scientists collect data from the spill itself, because apparently, how much oil is actually spilling into the gulf is irrelevant - in fact, knowing might detract from the effort to stop the leak. Now, it could just be me being dumb and blonde and uneducated and female, but I would think that actually having facts about the problem might help them figure out the best way to stop it.

I can just imagine the heads of BP discussing this:

Sir, maybe we should let some independents look at this, so they'll know what we're dealing with and be able to help. Are you crazy? Then they'll know what a colossal cock up we've made of this. What else have you got? Um... we could see if we could drill that relief well we've been planning since last month. No, wait. Better idea. We'll drop a big dome on it. Wait, that didn't work? Let's drop a smaller dome on top of the big one. Wait, the exact same thing happened as what happened with the first dome? No problem, we'll fill leak with mud. No, better: pressurised garbage. Sounds good to me. Let me know if nothing works and the species is about to die. No, better just call me if you stop it.
So there we go. I'm pretty sure we're all at least mostly doomed. Time to eat drink and be merry, everyone; tomorrow you might be dead.

*there's a lot to suggest that their internal estimates are much higher.

06 January 2009

Dear Earth...

Dear Earth,

I haven't seen enough of you. I've lived my life in one little corner of one little corner, barely branching out at all. It's kind of depressing.

Some parts of you are scary, places I will never go, things I don't wish to see. Most of you is beautiful and I feel like I'm missing out. I have no great interest to make my mark on you, but I would like to get to know you a bit better.

And that, dear Earth, is why I'm going to see you, one little piece at a time.

20 January 2008

Thank you...

... to every Socialist and every Capitalist too busy arguing with each other about irrelevancies to realize that their philosophies are just as useless as each other.

... to every musician too busy whining about piracy to stop and evaluate whether their music is actually worth anything.

... to every Libertarian individualist too busy vaunting their independence and their self sufficiency to realize that they couldn't survive a day without everyone else.

... to every ordinary man and woman too busy chasing a dream to find the freedom to live one.

... to every Objectivist too busy pushing their opinion on others to realize that it's just an opinion.

... to every couple too busy trying to rekindle the selfish drunken love they once had to realize that it wasn't ever really love at all.

... to every prejudiced moron too busy scapegoating some other group of people to realize that they are just as damn stupid as everyone else.

... to every right-wing and left-wing political pundit too busy bickering about the just way to control another man's life to see that there isn't one.

... to every sad eyed, whiny, well dressed, confused, despondent, embittered, jaded, misanthropic, cynical, egocentric, flighty, apathetic, directionless, clueless, valueless bloody train wreck of a young person too busy digging for their soul in the bottom of a Starbucks cup to pull those horrid fucking white headphones out of their ears and listen to it screaming at them.

If I come across as bitter, it's only because I'm venting. I don't begrudge people their shortcomings, really; I've got my own share to deal with. I really mean to thank all of these people, for showing me how not to live. Traps are more difficult to fall into when you can see what happened to the last guy who did so.

But all of that said, sometimes I just wish everyone would wake up.

25 September 2007

The Affordability of Sustainability

To whom it may concern and for those of you who care,

I'm certain that I've entered the echo chamber here with what I'm about to suggest, but it doesn't mean that repetition is necessarily unfruitful or unnecessary.

The question is of the affordability of sustainability; to further narrow the focus, I'm talking about the economic burden on the average person, of the current wave of environmentalism. Frequently, when espousing the merits of sustainable living habits, one is encountered by those who shun the supposedly undesirable financial burden placed on the individual and the somewhat dubious honour and responsibility of being responsible for the impact they have on this home of ours.

We've all heard this before:

"How can we afford to be responsible for change? Shouldn't the government employ some sort of strategy or scheme to handle the details for us?"

"These products cost more"

"I can't afford to spend this time, money and energy on using more energy efficient products and it shouldn't be expected of me to alter my lifestyle to such extremes. I'm comfortable the way I am."

Etc... ad nauseum



If you believe the previous responses to be rational and reasonable responses to the suggestion of individual responsibility, I only have one question for you:

WHY NOT CONSERVE?

That's it. What good reason can you put forth to absolve yourself of any culpability in this matter? Ever heard of not shitting in your own pond? Well, that surely applies in this case. The citizens of the industrialised states seem to have forgotten that, while we have developed sewage treatment facilities and other waste management systems, this planet is one large ecosystem and there is a threshold beyond which we cannot return; in fact, we may have already breached it. Why not do as much as possible to avoid unnecessary waste, to promote individual efficiency, to consume as much as is necessary. Wouldn't this be a thing in which to take pride? Striking a balance with the planet and forging existence from it while ensuring that future generations will have something to preserve is not some lofty goal that requires immense analysis and imagination to comprehend or appreciate. It's a thing so close to my heart that I can feel it in my every waking hour. I am human and I intend to live in a way that is commensurate to the furtherance and success of my species; moreover, in the immediate sense, I need a place for my potential offspring to thrive in. How can we afford not to change? How did conservation become such a radical notion?

It's not my intent to harp on the everyman and remind him of his ignorance or to suggest that people should feel bad for their lack of imagination. I understand that people want to believe they're simply content in living their lives and putting in a good days work, however that argument isn't playing out very well with me. Surely, it's not a bad thing for people to be happy living a small life, in fact it's that to which I believe we should all aspire. Minimum impact, a small footprint is an ideal goal to behold. However, we seem to forget that we are a collective and collectively we have an impact. Just as your liver can not withstand excessive and prolonged consumption of alcohol, our home cannot forever be expected to absorb the waste created by our grandiose and rather self congratulatory and indulgent consumption without being given time to complete it's cycle.

I'm not an ideologue and I won't use abstract theories to convince the average, disinterested person of the error of their ways, because it's absolutely useless to do so and completely disheartening. These things we've all heard before and one knows how bothersome it must be to have pronouncements handed down by some holier-than-thou researcher or politician, sitting high up in their ivory tower. Leave it up to the scientists, the engineers, the innovators to improve the situation for which we are all responsible, but don't be afraid to be brave and courageous by doing the right thing: imagine that individual accountability is desirable, possible and necessary. Cherish these ideas. Don't continue to propagate a downward spiral of reinforced negativity. Who cares what others refuse to do? Just know that your own existence is conducive to your individual and our mutual success.

If you want to be treated as adults, start acting like one should. Until then, if you continue to act such as children, I'll keep treating you as one. If you don't believe that change starts with you, I'm certainly not going to feign naive surprise and pretend that I simply can't comprehend your collective ignorance, because it's an undeniable trend throughout human history that we're lead by innovators and dynamic thinkers but that the large mass of us are cattle, waiting to be blindly led around from dusk until dawn and only stop to worry about a problem if it stays around for long enough to bite us in the ass. You may not think that change starts with you, but it definitely starts with me. I don't mind leading you to our collective salvation just as my enemies were about to lead you off the edge.

The legacy of those before us who would lead us to such great heights is now protected by those who are afraid to change.


It's time for a course correction, people.

26 April 2007

The Slow Death of Reason

Good day, my fellow humans.

I cannot any longer refrain from commenting on the inexcusable erosion of logic in social and political debate, and its gradual replacement with reactionism. I do not follow commentative blogs, as a rule; I have other matters to attend to. In research of one sort or another, however, it seems now difficult to avoid them, and when I find it impossible, I'm often dismayed by a seemingly progressive trend toward dogmatic, rhetorical banter, and away from lucid, rational consideration. A particularly infuriating example can be found here:

Right Wing News

Having read this far, some of you will already have labeled me a Leftie. Do not be so naive as to prove my point for me; I am a Libertarian. I simply tend to be harder on those with whom I share a greater base of beliefs. I expect more from them. The Right Wing News has done a lovely job of demonstrating that not all of us are so discerning.

That such a summary dismissal of a possibly valid issue can even exist amongst individuals who consider themselves to be enlightened should be enough to give us all pause. But what is more alarming to me is that this very breed of reactionary nonsense has in fact become a rather pervasive trend. The above example did not drive me to write on the subject; I have wished to do so for some time. When I felt the time was right for me to voice my concerns, I felt the need to exemplify them. I delved into the brave new world of online political commentary, and found my quintessential example. The search took me roughly forty seconds, and the article referred to above was the first one I read, the topmost post on the first blog I came to in a generic Google search. Have I made my point clearly enough? If anyone is not convinced, I'm quite confident I can provide myriad further examples at scant inconvenience to myself - no doubt a minute or two would be sufficient.

It seems that the primary problem is a shift of focus away from the issues of debate and toward the beliefs held in regard to them by members of a perceived polar opposition. We no longer need to refer to people as individuals or to discuss individual issues on their merits; we can now sit comfortably in fireside circles on our respective sides of the fence, passing time away with mockeries of what The Left or what The Right may have to say on a particular matter. And deciding our own opinions on these matters is no longer necessary either, as both membership cards come with a reference printed on the back that will tell us everything we need to know, about abortion, taxation, Islam, gun control, gay marriage, the war in Iraq, the righteousness of Israel, and the environment.

This polarization of opinion is destructive, irresponsible, and completely inexcusable. And sadly, whereas it has always been a danger due simply to human nature, the internet age has made it, as it has made most social problems, bigger, better, and stronger. There was a time, I seem to remember, many years ago, where the voice of the public on widespread issues was confined to a small area of a printed newspaper, and the only syndicated commentary was provided by experienced, educated journalists. That model has its own inherent problems, the most notable of which is an obvious influence of the bias of a particular publication over its own content. Blogging technology has deftly solved this problem, providing a voice and a chance to be heard worldwide to anyone who will take them. Such a powerful tool could be used to bring social coordination and discussion to new levels of excellence - as I'm sure the creators of blogging software anticipated it would be. Instead, a pervasive culture has emerged that values the opinion of a laic above all other opinions, rejects the authority of education wherever it is convenient to do so, and demands in return for its respect and admiration only that one fall neatly into a mould of Left or Right, and be as snide, as scathing, as sarcastic, as juvenile as possible in expressing which mould they chose. The success of a blogger, much like that of the politicians on which they comment, is measured in popularity. And so, predictably and again in parallel with politics, the ones that attain the most success will be the ones who tell their audience whatever their audience wants to hear.

At the left hand, we have a group with a noble concern for human rights, but who will make any excuse necessary to turn a blind eye when abuses of those rights are committed by left-wing governments, or in the name of Marxism, or some revision thereof. On the right, a group who will quickly cite human rights abuses in China as evidence of the evil of communism, but who will readily excuse, ignore or condone even the most savage mistreatment of innocent Iraqis at the hands of Western soldiers. On the left side, individuals who believe in both gender equality and cultural tolerance, and seem to have no trouble harassing employers in the West over the most petty issues of workplace sensitivity, while simultaneously being tolerant of Eastern societies that forcefully subjugate and strip their women of freedom. At the right hand, individuals who are so obsessed with the superiority of Western culture that they reject any suggestion of improvement, assuming any imperfection is either imagined or inevitable.

In the camp to my left, everyone is so obsessed with environmental change that they will rashly vote for whichever politician lends it the most lip service, or promises to ratify Kyoto. Had any of them been believers in due diligence they would have read the specification as I did, and concluded that it is a poorly designed and completely inadequate patch for a very large and complex hole, and that it was likely designed primarily for optical reasons, to quell dissent among those so nobly concerned. Plainly, it worked.

In the camp to my right, they refer to anyone who enjoys breathing as a "hippie" or a "tree-hugger" (I have never hugged a tree in my life, and bathe regularly, but I must be both, because I care more about my lungs than I do about whether or not oil companies will survive in the 21st century), or worse. They would rather surrender to, or ignore, the problem of environmental change than bother themselves with doing something about it, and justify their inaction with the misguided and erroneous notion that the natural resources that provide the basis for our entire economy, and the economy itself, are somehow inherently conflicted.

Both sides fancy themselves as economists, climatologists, engineers and military strategists, so it's never difficult for anyone to toss aside factual evidence of one thing or another if it does not incorporate well into their existing framework of dogma.

Frankly, I've had it with all of you. You seem to have abandoned reason almost entirely, and have let the most noble pursuit of social debate degenerate into a self-indulgent farce, content now to botch or ape your way through a process that was once treated with solemnity and respect. Perhaps it is the ease with which people can attain an audience these days that does it - popularity that is bought cheaply is not so well cherished as that which one actually needs to earn. Whatever the cause - and I can only speculate - there is clearly a serious problem of irresponsibility to be dealt with. We should not forget the importance that is intrinsically attached to the process of forming an opinion. It is our opinions, after all, that dictate, directly or indirectly, the course of our society. It would not be an exaggeration to say that the happiness and well being of millions of people are at stake, so please, a return to adulthood would be well appreciated. You may all be on your way out, but I'm still young, and I'd like to have a decent world in which to live for the rest of my life.